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As with most anything, there is an inherent need, as well as desire for balance in our lives. Whether the toddler is learning to speak, or learning to walk while developing the first two of the four stages of cognitive development: (1): Sensorimotor stage (infancy); and (2): pre-operational stage (toddler to early childhood), Mercury is at work and on its way to defining its needs. There are also the stages of creative balance such as drama, mime, sculpture and music, and our sexual balance such as intimacy and individual needs (Sun, Venus, Mars, and Neptune). We all have the desire for this balance in our personal and intimate lives, and Astrology can help you find and maintain them.
At first glance, many of us wish to immediately look at the current love life, or the one previous to the current love relationship in order to begin understanding where one is. No, no no! You will need to follow the path of adulthood back to the stages of infancy, and then "toddler-hood" and back again to present day. Why you ask? Well, these stages are the first set of examples given to us by our parents. It would be a very good idea to refer to the parental axis within your chart, or that of your client's (fourth/tenth houses) to see which dynamics are working (or not working). So much of what we experienced as children began to take shape before we even arrived into the physical body, and then what was represented to us by our parents after we were born. This is what many psychologists like to refer to as "early childhood conditioning."
It is here, at the beginning, that we are already setup for the preconceived behaviors dictated by our parents and society. For many boys, their dads would like their sons to be ball players, and aggressive go getter's; for many girls, the mother wished for the sweet, graceful and elegant daughter. It is within these parameters of preconceived ideas that children began to model ourselves after their parents, and other strong influential family members. Here is where you will find the little echoes (children, the fifth house), bouncing from the Doppler radar (parents, fourth and tenth houses). These days families are not set up as our parent's generation once was. It used to be that at least one grandparent lived within the family home environment, and the father came home after work; now days this rarely the case.
Affection is an important if not vital emotion that we all crave and seek out in one form or another; but not all of us share this particular emotional dynamic in a positive or healthy way. Mother is where little girls will learn how to express themselves emotionally, and Venus is the key to understanding how it can potentially be expressed. Mars and the father is what little boys will attempt to mold themselves after, so that one day, when they become men, they can romance the girl that reminds them most of their mother! Go ahead and say "Ewww" all you want! Statistically, we all know that little boys are attracted to the mother figure, and little girls are attracted to the father figure.
The Moon is where our emotional drama first begins, and we start to sense how we will have our needs met. A Leo Moon is going to want more love, acknowledgement, and theatrics than say its polar opposite Aquarian Moon, where individualism and freedom run at a premium. One might even say that a mother with an Aquarian Moon wanted to be out in the world and on her own, rather than stuck with a crying baby at home (watch Barbara Stanwyck in Clash by Night, 1952). The Leo Moon mother is into high drama and a high level of need recognition. These two examples are no guarantee for these behaviors, but I have seen this more than not!
The sign that Venus is in, is integrated into the complexity of combining and expressing the elements of personality and emotional needs, and those of romance and affection. Bringing in the element of sexual intimacy will also require the planet Mars and the Sun. Mars is our applied energy and sex drive, and the Sun, our Ego and biggest supporter! Here we will find out how one combines their Moon and Venus with that of our martian instinct, the fight or flight response, and the Sun, our ego defense and recognition. An Aquarian Mars may want to have many multiple partners, while a Capricorn Venus is going to freeze up rather quickly when being wooed by a potential partner or lover.
There are too many combinations for me to cover here but you get the point. Plus I need to talk a little about which house is the house of "Sex." Traditionally many Astrologers looked to the eighth house for sexual escapades, but now, and more recently it is the fifth house that will flood your palate with romance and debauchery. The fifth house is ruled by the Sun, and the Sun represents man's awareness of life energy, the eternal ego, and man's response to creative expression. Toss in Mars (the mini ego) and Pluto (the ruler of the underworld and all of its trimmings) and you have yourself the potential for a full on sexual revolution. There is a tremendous difference between Mars ruling the eighth house, and Pluto ruling the eighth house. Either way, the fifth house (Sun ruled) is in Square to the eight house (ruler Pluto and co ruler Mars) suggesting tremendous tension between the two houses.
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