Ina Nektar Fly Fishing

Egg Sucking

Easter Egg Temptation

“Welcome to the tale of a delicious adventure in wonderful land. You can tell it will be delicious- can’t you smell it already? Oh how I love that gorgeous smell!
You’ve all heard of Cadbury’s...Rowntree...Fry’s...Nestles...Wonka, what’s that? You say, what’s Wonka? You mean you don’t know what Wonka is? Why Wonka chocolate of course! I admit that Willy Wonka’s chocolate is fairly new but it’s also the greatest chocolate ever invented. Why Willy Wonka himself is the most amazing, most fantastic, most extraordinary chocolate maker the world has ever seen.”

Hello there…. Daisy here… that’s a quote from my favourite play…. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory… because it’s all about my favourite thing… CHOCOLATE!!! Which links us very nicely to Easter!!!

A very Happy Easter to you all. What does Easter mean to you? Having Bank Holiday Friday and Monday off work? Going to church to celebrate the resurrection of Christ? Spending time with your family or friends? Fluffy bunnies and spring lambs frolicking in pastures green?!!!

There are various meanings and ways in which people think about, or celebrate Easter, but one thing’s for sure, nearly every single one of us will think about chocolate at some point (yes, yes okay some of us think about it every day, in fact my thoughts about chocolate are on par with how often men think about sex…. Something like every six seconds!!!) You will all think about chocolate at some point over Easter, be it because you’re buying chocolate eggs for loved ones, hoping to receive some kind of chocolate, or just sick of the sight of it! (Obviously being sick of the sight of chocolate is an alien thought to me, but I hear that this strange phenomenon does exist for some people.)

Bearing this thought in mind, I wanted to give you some tips and advice that might just help you to resist temptation and stay away from the beautiful velvety mouth watering fantastic invention that is… chocolate (sorry, I haven’t begun very well so far….. quick… re-programme your brain…. Imagine dipping chocolate in vomit…as Paul McKenna might suggest… that help? Right …. On with the advice!!!)

So… top tips from me to you that I’ve picked up over the years. You could try freezing a bar of chocolate after breaking it into small squares first. Then, when feeling tempted you can take a single solitary piece from your freezer stash and suck it slowly. It will take a little while to melt, so your chocolatey experience will last for some minutes, maybe even longer than eating a whole bar? I have tried this, and whilst it does work for some people, my mouth started watering and I got over excited and started chomping hard on the frozen goods, happy to risk expensive dental surgery in order to get my fix of chocolate to my belly quicker. Also, for me, once I get a taste of chocolate there is no going back, I find it difficult to have it in moderation.

With this in mind, it might be better to stay away from chocolate altogether. You could try substituting your fix for something else that is sweet, like dried fruit and nuts, or just try to fill up on raw fruit. (Ha ha ha ha I just read that back and I am in hysterics….. ‘Daisy, would you like this succulent luxurious mouth-watering chocolate egg?’ ‘Oh… no thank you mister shop keeper… I have a banana in my pocket!’ I can’t see it myself, but it might work for you.)

I have never been able to control myself at Easter time, I think it is because I always try to restrict myself too much and it simply backfires. Take Easter 2005 for example. I bought chocolate eggs for my close family members, there were five in total, I chose them taking special care and consideration for each person’s individual tastes. I was proud, and I was organised…. I had all of the eggs lined up, out of the way, out of sight at the back of the cupboard two weeks before Easter.

But they started talking to me… first in just a whisper, ‘We’re lonely… come and smell us….’, then they got louder those eggs, they grew in confidence, they were calling me, begging me, pleeeeeeading with me and eventually shouting , ‘EAT MEEEEE!!!!!’ It was like they were in the ‘Alice in Wonderland’ story. ‘It couldn’t hurt if I ate just one…’ I thought to myself…’What harm could it do?’ This was clearly a schoolboy error, for in reality, how could I eat just one and leave the others out? It wouldn’t be fair, they had bonded at the back of the cupboard those five eggs had, they were a unit, a team, a family……. they belonged together.

So I ate them all. In one sitting. Yes. ALL. As I sat on the living room floor surrounded by packaging and wallowing in my own guilt, shame and self loathing, I vowed never to do such a thing again. I hated myself. Unfortunately this feeling faded too quickly, and a couple of days later, replacement eggs in the cupboard the whole thing happened again. And AGAIN another couple of days later, after I’d replaced the replacement eggs. So yes, 2005 was the year that I ate 15 eggs, none of which were meant for me, as I’d asked people not to buy me eggs because I was dieting!!! (I’d actually asked for exercise DVD’s that year, and as you can imagine, they still have the cellophane on.)

So if like me you’re not going to be able to stay away from chocolate, and I’m presuming that hibernation isn’t an option… I’m feeling that the moral of this article, or my advice to you would be to have a little of what you fancy. Chocolate is good for the soul and causes us to release happy endorphins, and in any case, what has it ever done to hurt you…? There is no need to hate, ridicule or fear it! Embrace it! I’m not talking about one square of frozen chocolate, or about eating the whole family supply of eggs three times over, but allow someone to buy you one special egg, a variety that you really like, and sit yourself down and enjoy it, allowing yourself to do this without feeling guilty, then move on with your life! After all, it is Easter, and I’m sure you deserve it…. I know I do!!!

 

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